At 10 PM, Abby (a true angel), went out to try to find some. About 30 minutes later (I was starting to get really nervous), she rolled back in with full fat CHOCOLATE milk and vanilla yogurt (everything was closed except the gas station across the 9th de Julio - a 16 lane avenue near our house - and this was all she could find). We determined the yogurt had more fat, so I dumped it in a bowl and stuck my hand in it. In this condition, I ate dinner and surfed the net for more solutions.
After about 30 minutes of solid vanilla-yogurt submersion (it actually smelled kind of yummy), the burn started to subside enough for me to wash my hand and go to sleep.
Surprisingly (it hurt THAT bad), there was no lasting damage and no pain in the morning. Thank goodness. Lesson learned.
This link proved exceedingly helpful in my time of need:
How to get hot pepper sting off the skin?

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