Lessons, where you least expect them.

When you're young, its easy to make friends, and lose friends. You grow, or they grow, or someone moves and a tear or two fall but there is no lasting damage. However, when 18 turns into 28, things are different. All the time you had in high school or college to devote to whatever fancy crossed your path, has somehow dwindled into extremely valuable minutes extracted from a jam packed schedule.

At this point, friendship should feel good, it shouldn't be a hassle and it shouldn't be a guilt trip. I want different things. I understand the value of a true friend, and although acquaintances and crowds of people you would never share your secrets with have value, for a night or two, thats not what I am looking for. I want heartfelt friendship, where time and distance doesn't break us, where I know that they have my back before they even hear my side of the story, and they know I unequivocally have theirs. No judgments, no tears.

Its important to be good to yourself. While a true friendship is worth the fight, we need to learn to recognize the ones that offer less than they put in. Time is too valuable.

The reason I even mention this (at least one of them), is because Abby and I met a new friend recently. She comes from a very different part of the world, where our "lifestyle" isn't accepted, or understood, yet she has committed to accepting us for who we are. And its very interesting, because the value she places on our friendship is much higher than we find in western culture. Its a recognition of a connection that has been made, and no matter how much we put ourselves out there, a connection, at 28, or 30, or 34 IS special.

Every day is a learning experience if you're open to the lessons, and that is truly incredible. I love that those lessons often come when you least expect them. To our new friend, thank you for opening yourself up and allowing me to learn from you.